Still Life by SAB687
Still Life by SAB687

Still Life

She is still
in the torrent of storms.
She is still
at the heart of crisis.
She is still
where anger confronts her
or becomes her.
She is still
embraced by her tears.
She is still
heartbroken and disappointed,
mostly in herself.
She is still
insecure and dissembled.
She is still
teetering on a cliff-
wavering between opposing sides,
unable to make any final decisions.
She is still
in the presence of love
and light.
She is still
animated, excitable;
swept away on joyful days.
She is still
in love with life,
in love with hers.
She is still
writing her story,
singing her song,
blazing her own trail.
She is still
creating life in her wake
at least with her art.
She is still
touching minds
wearing her heart on her sleeve.
She is still
at the epicenter,
the calm of the eye,
because she is
still life.

© LTM 04/04/14

Happy Birthday, Mom!

My Mother. And yes, that's me...
My Mother. And yes, that’s me…

Today is my Mom’s birthday. She would have been 71 years old and still a newlywed…and still rescuing/caring for/feeding cats. Not just her own, but herds of strays that gathered in various places within an hour of her home. She loved these animals, fought for them and did whatever she could do for them on her tight budget. She grew up an only child and they were her brothers and sisters. I remember in ’92, when she had emergency surgery for a temporal aneurysm, the doctor told me she was severely malnourished.  She was living with about 30 cats and had been starving herself to feed them.

She suffered several emotional traumas in her young life and (as a result?) had earned a Master’s Degree in Psychology. She was good at it too, but continued to suffer setbacks as her life progressed. She was a GOOD Mom. She was exactly the Mom I needed. My brother and I always knew she loved us, no matter how bad we’d screwed up…and we DID screw up. LOL!

I’ve learned a lot about my Mom since she was killed last year. I knew she loved to write, but I didn’t know she wrote poetry and had never read any of it. I found some pages in her things that just awed me. 🙂 I knew she respected her Mother quite a bit, but I never knew how much she truly loved her or how much it crushed her when Mama Katie passed away.

© Susan W. Teachout
© Susan W. Teachout

Last year on this day, I was in a funeral parlor planning her funeral. Strange how things happen? Tomorrow is the day she was cremated and Thursday is the day she was buried.  So, in less than a 2 week span, I remember her death, birthday, cremation and burial. 2 weeks from today is my own birthday…I was 2 weeks late. Do the math. 😉

Today is going to be a happy day. I miss her so terribly, but she wouldn’t have me upset on her birthday. So I am going to get off the computer-get to baking, writing, crocheting and maybe take some random pics. And I am going to do these things WITH her as well as FOR her.

Happy Birthday Mom – enjoy the party!

If you’ve gotten this far, Thank You So Much for reading!

For anyone interested:


Please stay in your car after a wreck in bad weather – especially in traffic.

Dreamland Lies

D R E A M L A N D by JaM-FaiRY
D R E A M L A N D by JaM-FaiRY

Dreamland Lies

Nightmares calling
from behind my eyes
see darkness falling
on broken skies.

Starved of rest,
I improvise
the truths of life
my mind denies.

Frustration builds
as my heart tries
to release its fear
of Dreamland’s lies.

Sleep will come,
I would surmise,
in submission to
deprivation’s guise

with stillness and
the silent highs
of surrendered will
and it’s muffled cries –

but nightmares calling
from behind my eyes
see darkness falling
on broken skies…

© 02/07/14